Who's the Father?
by FrostedHoodies
Summary: Blaine is in his first year at NYADA and in a relationship with Kurt. After a week of nausea and exhaustion, Blaine finds out that he is pregnant. The problem? Five weeks ago he was raped at a party and has no way of knowing who the father of his baby is. Warnings for rape (and its aftermath) and mpreg.


"Blaine?" Kurt rattled the door handle of the locked bathroom door. "Is everything okay in there?"

"Yeah…no," Blaine called, sitting back on his heels having just finished retching – for now at least, if the last week was anything to go by. He'd be sick repeatedly for about an hour and just when he thought his body was finally giving him a break, he'd find himself on the bathroom floor again. "I'm sick Kurt, don't come in. You don't need to see this."

"I want to look after you." Kurt's voice sounded half-pouty, half-sympathetic, but even if Blaine could muster the strength to peel himself off the tiles to open the door, he wouldn't have done it. He didn't deserve to be cared for. That and he wanted to be left alone.

"That's sweet," he said, running a shaky hand through his ungelled curls. "But it's fine. You should get to class."

Speaking of classes, Blaine had one he needed to get to as well. Miss July was going to kill him: he had already missed the last two classes and the one before that he had to repeatedly run out of to be sick in the trash can outside, unable to make it to the bathroom in time.

"You, my lovely boyfriend, are far more important than any class at NYADA." Blaine could hear the fond smile in Kurt's voice. "But if you want to brave this thing by yourself, fine I'll go. I do think you should see a doctor though." Concern seeped into his tone again and it made Blaine feel even more ill. He didn't deserve Kurt's worry. "You've been like this for over a week now, you should get it checked out."

"I'll do that," Blaine promised, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Just get to class."

xoxoxox

Far too many people shopped at the local supermarket, Blaine decided, as he reluctantly walked up the "personal care" aisle, trying to look like he had a perfectly acceptable purpose for being there, like needing vitamins or shampoo.

The pregnancy test section was intimidating. Why did there have to be so many brands? Which one was best? Oh God, was that lady and her son that just walked by staring at him? What must they think?

_Breathe. _

He should get more than one test. Just to make sure he didn't get a false result. ClearBlue, First Response and Answer. He hid them beneath the loaf of bread he had strategically picked up on his way in and hurried to the check out, deliberately avoiding eye contact with the older lady who served him.

10 minutes.

He was forcibly reminded of that poem: if you want to know the value of an hour ask someone who was stuck in an elevator. Yeah well, if you want to know the value of ten minutes ask someone who just took a pregnancy test.

9 minutes.

It was 1:09 in the morning when it happened. Blaine remembered because Jacob had pushed his limp body down onto the bed in his dorm and on the bedside table there was a luminous alarm clock. The digits glowed red in the dark and Blaine found himself staring at them to keep himself sane and to distract him from the burning pain down below.

8 minutes.

That was how long it took. Jacob had rammed into him non-stop, Blaine's head slamming against the head board and his cock soft between them.

"Take it, take it. I know you want it, slut," Jacob had moaned. Blaine watched the clock. And hated himself.

He didn't think of Kurt, he didn't think of Sam, he didn't think of anything really, except that this torture couldn't go on forever. That eventually it would end and Blaine would need to find a way to put himself back together.

Eight minutes was how long it took to take Blaine's count of sexual partners up to three and his feelings of self worth down to zero.

5 minutes.

Blaine hadn't told anyone. No one would believe him anyway and he didn't want their pity. Pity would make it worse because it meant that it had happened, really happened, and Blaine wasn't willing to deal with that.

And Kurt…Kurt deserved someone perfect and whole. Blaine already wasn't thanks to Eli. He couldn't add another blemish. He just couldn't.

2 minutes.

If he was pregnant, he wouldn't know who the father was. Five weeks ago the condom had broken when he was having sex with Kurt and Jacob hadn't used one. Blaine knew that because he had to walk home with semen and his own blood flowing down his thighs. Blaine had washed the underwear and trousers he was wearing before throwing them out. When Kurt asked why, Blaine said he spilt something on them that would never come out. That wasn't true. The blood had washed out fine, but like Lady Macbeth, Blaine knew that he would never stop seeing it.

0 minutes.

Three pregnancy tests. Three positives.

xoxoxox

"So Blaine, from your scan it looks like you are a little over five weeks pregnant."

Blaine swallowed hard, hoping to get rid of the lump in his throat. The last thing he wanted was to break down in front of the lady giving him his ultrasound. It was official now.

"From your reaction I'm guessing that this is not happy news," she said gently.

Blaine let out a shuddery sob. "Not really, no."

"Well, you do have options, Blaine," she said. "It's good you came to see me so early as you are able to get an abortion, or there is always adoption if you want to carry the child to term."

Carry the child to term. He couldn't do that. If he did he would have to tell Kurt and Kurt would assume the baby was his – he could be right, of course – and then he would see it when it was born and what if it didn't look like either of them and –

"No," Blaine said firmly. "I-I can't have this baby."

To his relief the doctor – Natalie, that's what she said her name was – didn't push him, or ask questions that would only make him feel guilty.

"Okay. I suggest that you schedule the procedure in about two weeks. It will give you a chance to make sure that this is really what you want and to get mentally prepared for what is going to happen. Abortions this early in the pregnancy are very safe so you don't need to worry too much about that aspect. I would also recommend that you set up an appointment with a counsellor just in case you want to talk about anything to do with the procedure."

Blaine took the slip of paper she offered him, knowing that there was no way he would be talking to a counsellor. He just wanted this all to be over and to never have to think about it again.

"Blaine…I don't want to pressure you, but it might help if you tell the father," she said tentatively. "It might take some of the burden off you."

Blaine nodded. He could do that…if only he knew who the father was.

xoxoxox

"You're quiet," Kurt commented during dinner that night.

Blaine shrugged. "Am I?"

Kurt brushed his foot against Blaine's ankle under the table. "Did you make a doctor's appointment?"

"Yeah, and I'm fine."

Kurt arched an eyebrow. "Really? You got in so quickly?"

Blaine nodded, staring at his pasta. "They had an opening and I went and the doctor thinks it's just a long twenty-four hour thing so… yeah."

"Okay." Kurt sounded dubious. "Well that's good then."

They ate in silence for a few minutes, Blaine looking anywhere other than Kurt's face.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower and then maybe – since Santana and Rachel are out tonight – we could do something special."

Blaine shifted uncomfortably. Given the secret growth inside him he wasn't really feeling particularly sexy. That and he was exhausted. But Kurt looked so hopeful and Blaine loved him so much, he couldn't turn him down. It wasn't Kurt's fault that everything was a mess.

He smiled warmly as Kurt rinsed his plate and disappeared into the bathroom. By the time Kurt emerged, Blaine was fast asleep in their bed.

Kurt smiled fondly, brushing a stray curl out of Blaine's face. "Oh honey, what's going on with you?" he murmured.

xoxoxox

Blaine wished that Natalie was the doctor performing his abortion. He also wished he had someone with him but there was no one he could ask. He never wanted anyone to know about this.

The doctor – John - swiftly came into the room, all business, no small talk or niceties and Blaine started to shiver violently. The doctor's eyes were green, exactly the same shade as Jacob's.

_Don't think about that, Blaine. _

"So," the doctor said, raising Blaine's legs so that they were bent at his knees with his feet on the bed. Blaine felt hideously, awfully open and exposed. "Just try to relax for me and I'll have this done for you as soon as I can."

Blaine bit his lip to hold in a sob and stared resolutely at the ceiling. It was almost over, it was almost over, this time in a few hours it would be over –

"Oh my God!" he squealed, as the doctor's hands travelled between his legs. He recoiled involuntarily, wanting to escape.

The doctor tried to perform the procedure for half an hour. Each time Blaine pulled away, shaking and sobbing. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't let the doctor touch him.

Blaine walked out of the abortion centre still pregnant.

xoxoxox

"Hey, there you are," Kurt greeted, opening his arms to invite Blaine to snuggle against him on the couch. "I missed you today!"

"Yeah, I wasn't feeling well," Blaine muttered, positioning himself in such a way that it would be difficult to Kurt to wrap his arms around him. Since finding out his pregnancy Blaine couldn't stand having anyone touch his body anywhere between his waist and hips.

Kurt planted a kiss on the top of Blaine's head. "Still?" he hummed. "Blaine, I really think you should go back to the doctor. I know she said there was nothing wrong last time but it doesn't feel right that you're still sick."

This was the moment. This was the time for Blaine to tell Kurt that he would probably be feeling sick for the next seven months (and possibly every year after that if the baby resembled Jacob). Obviously he wasn't going to be able to get rid of the baby so he had to tell Kurt. He should tell Kurt now.

Kurt gave him a gentle shake, wrapping his long arms around Blaine's shoulders.

"Yeah," Blaine heard himself murmur. "Yeah, I should make an appointment."

xoxoxox

It was March 18th. He was ten weeks pregnant. And he still hadn't told Kurt.

He passed Jacob in the hallway on his way to Miss July's dance class. Jacob had blown him a kiss and Blaine had shivered. It astounded him that Jacob could act as if nothing had happened between them. As if he was merely being flirtatious with him. When he turned the corner, Blaine looked down at his belly.

_I wonder if you're his. _

xoxoxox

"You're getting chubby, hobbit."

Blaine nearly dropped the piece of toast he was buttering.

"Santana," he heard Rachel hiss reprovingly behind his back. Blaine continued standing at the kitchen counter, staring resolutely at the wall.

"What?" Santana asked, sounding shocked that anyone could have found her statement offensive. "Just making an observation, no need to shoot the messenger."

"Blaine doesn't need you making unsolicited comments on his appearance!"

"It's fine," Blaine said quickly, cursing how brittle his voice sounded. "Just drop it, Rachel."

Doing his best to suck in his tummy Blaine turned around and tried to disguise how quickly he rushed to the table to sit down and hide his lower body from Santana's sharp eyes.

The three of them ate in silence for a few seconds before Rachel – apparently unable to restrain herself – burst out with, "Freshman year is hard on everyone, it takes some time to adjust to New York and being at NYADA and if Blaine is getting a little bloated I think it is very insensitive ofyou to say anything, especially given that you don't even go to college. You have no idea what we go through."

"Excuse me?" Santana said, arching an eyebrow.

"I have to go," Blaine whispered, fleeing the kitchen. He didn't want to see them fighting. That and he was about to cry.

He was a terrible person. A terrible person with a terrible secret that he wasn't going to be able to hide for much longer. Soon everyone would know. They would point and stare and potentially kick him out of classes. After what happened that night, Blaine had been so angry that Jacob had taken something very precious away from him. He should have been more worried about what Jacob may have given him. Every morning in the shower Blaine rubbed his tummy, desperately chanting under his breath _Please be Kurt's, I hope your Kurt's, Pleasure be Kurt's, I hope you're Kurt's. _

In his mind he was carrying Kurt's baby. There was no way he could survive this mentally if he believed the baby was the product of that monster and that act. He almost laughed at the sick irony of his life: if the baby was Jacob's he was too scared to carry it and too scared to terminate it, so where did that leave him?

Kurt emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam.

"What's up?" he asked, eyes going soft when he noticed the tears streaming down Blaine's cheeks.

"Nothing," Blaine sobbed, trying to wipe his eyes but it was pointless: the tears were coming too quickly.

Kurt sat down on the bed next to him. "Look, I heard what Santana said. Just ignore her, you know what she's like. I don't care about how you look, okay? And to be honest I'm finding this kind of adorable."

He reached out to touch Blaine's belly and Blaine instinctively rolled onto his side, facing away from Kurt, wrapping his arms around his middle to deny Kurt access.

"Blaine!" He winced at how wounded Kurt sounded. At least he had managed to stop crying. After _it _happened Blaine hated crying. Every time he started he was worried that he was never going to be able to stop.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Blaine," Kurt said, his tone gentle. "Please tell me what's going on."

Unwillingly, Blaine repositioned himself so that he was lying on his back. Kurt's face was pale and drawn and Blaine hated that he had put that look there. Hated that he was causing Kurt pain.

"I'm pregnant," Blaine whispered, turning his head so that he was facing the wall, away from Kurt.

Kurt inhaled sharply. "Oh Blaine! We're having a baby?"

Blaine clenched his fist as Kurt gently straddled his thighs, warm, loving hands gently rubbing Blaine's belly.

"Yeah." His voice was barely more than a susurrus in the air.

"How far along are you?"

"Almost twelve weeks," he muttered.

"Three months?" Kurt gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?"

_Because I couldn't. Because I'm scared. Because maybe, just maybe, I hoped that something would happen and I wouldn't be any more…_

"Because I was trying to find a special way to say it," he replied.

Kurt giggled, swooping down to capture Blaine's lips in a kiss.

"Oh silly! Any way you tell me that you are having my baby would be special."

Blaine tried to pass his tears off as ones of joy.

xoxoxox

"Are you sure you're okay to keep doing all your classes?" Kurt asked. They were walking through Central Park, hand-in-hand. Despite the mild spring weather Blaine was wearing his warmest coat. His cardigans no longer concealed his pregnancy and despite Kurt constantly touching his distended tummy and declaring him gorgeous, Blaine felt anything but. Having his pregnant belly on display felt a bit too much like advertising his shame. Blaine just wanted to forget about it.

"Mmhm," he murmured, gazing off into the distance.

"No one would judge you if you cut back. I'm actually thinking that dance classes may not be the safest idea when you're carrying Bub."

Kurt, Rachel and Santana has started referring to the baby as "Bub". They thought it was cute and talked about it like it was already a presence in their lives. If they were trying to decide what to have for dinner, Rachel would ask Blaine what "Bub" felt like. He hated it. It felt like they were diminishing his value as a person, like he was slowly becoming invisible and what _he _wanted didn't matter. Then he remembered that he didn't really have any value as a person, not anymore anyone. Jacob had taken care of that.

"The doctor says it's perfectly safe. Anything I could do before pregnancy, I am allowed to do during pregnancy. If it starts to hurt, then I'll reconsider but until then there's no problem."

Kurt pecked him on the cheek. "Okay."

"Okay," Blaine echoed.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked tentatively. "You are…happy? About the baby, I mean."

He could tell him. Kurt had given him an opportunity. Kurt cared about him and wanted to know.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course I am."

xoxoxox

Skyping Kurt's parents had never been more intimidating. Not even when Kurt was telling them that they were back together.

"We have some really exciting news," Kurt said, taking Blaine's hand and stroking it with his thumb. "And Dad, I don't want you to over-react okay? Blaine and I are both really happy about this and I want you to be too."

Burt chuckled. "I'll do my best, Kurt."

"Blaine's pregnant!" The words spilled from Kurt's lips in a joyous rush as if he simply couldn't contain them anymore. Blaine found himself wishing he could just disappear as Carole squealed elatedly and Burt raised his eyebrows, a small smile twitching at his lips.

"Congratulations, honey!" Carole cooed, reaching out her hands as if trying to hug him through the computer screen.

Kurt was beaming, one hand still gripping onto Blaine and the other straying to his rounded belly. Blaine shifted uncomfortably, hoping his silence was coming across as shyness rather than embarrassment and discomfort.

"You guys are young, but if anyone can handle the responsibilities of being parents, I reckon it's you two," Burt said, his voice warm and sincere. "Congrats you guys."

"Can I start calling you grandpa?" Kurt teased, rubbing circles into Blaine's tummy as Blaine sat motionless, hoping the expression on his face was a smile. He was numb, he couldn't tell.

"Yeah, we'll see about that," Burt laughed.

And Blaine tucked his head into the crook of Kurt's neck wishing he could be as glowing and excited about his pregnancy as everyone else.


End file.
